Thousands of rocks covered the stage at cornerstone...
Pastor Linn had just finished challenging everyone attending that Sunday to think of someone who needed to know Christ; someone who needed a relationship with Christ; someone whose thirst could only be satisfied byLiving Water.
“God’s passion for us is to talk to those who are thirsty, as He did with the woman at the well. Who is that thirsty person that God wants you to talk to? If you would, write their first names on the back of the rock as a commitment to God, that you will talk to them about God.” Marcia Kennedy knew immediately the name she was writing on her rock – her son’s name – Ryan. As far as we can tell, this is the first stone. This is his story…
Growing up I had a very rough childhood. I was beaten by my dad and my parents were always fighting. I was picked on at school and it didn’t take much more of these things to start me rebelling against my parents and the rest of the world. I didn’t care about my life anymore either. I wanted to die and there were several times I was hospitalized because of suicide attempts. At the young age of 12, smoking cigarettes and marijuana and drinking alcohol was common. By the time I was 13, I was doing meth amphetamines, PCP, cocaine and ecstasy. This led to stealing and when I was 14, I was arrested for six felony counts of burglary which landed me in jails and rehab units over the next 2 1/2 years.
On my release I went back to the drugs, but this time I knew enough to manufacture the stuff as well. This did nothing more than escalate my downward spiral. It would be too hard to describe the terrible things that happened to me and through me during this time, so let’s just say I hit rock bottom. I was desperate; nothing I tried could kick the habit. After 14 or more consecutive days/nights without sleep or food, and enough meth in my body to probably kill an elephant, my body simply blacked out, shut down and went to sleep in a coma like state. I woke up several days later and amazingly had no taste or desire for another high. I have not touched a drug since that day.
I had seen so many people’s lives wasted and lost to drugs, so with my head cleared of them I decided I wanted something better in my life. I was very lonely though. I lost every friend I have ever had and at this point even my own family wouldn’t talk to me. I hadn’t been in a relationship in about 4 years. So I thought…
“hmmm, how can I meet a girl? I’ll go back to school!” I enrolled in a community college down in Dallas where I was living at the time. After I started school I really enjoyed being there. I did well enough so that in 2007 I applied to ASU and was accepted! But after nearly two years at ASU, I still had not met any really true or close friends.
The loneliness, the emptiness inside was still there and deeper still than before. Something was missing; something that drugs, friends, even doing well in school couldn’t fill. I felt like if there was a God, he didn’t care about me. So I started thinking about suicide again and was close to actually going through with it but I remembered my Mom. She had been asking me for sometime to go with her to Cornerstone. I thought to myself that people in church are supposed to be nice and friendly so maybe I should give it a try.
This was my first day in church in probably 10 years so I felt and looked way out of place. I was dressed like a gang banger covered in evil tattoos so I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was glad the lights were down low. Right from the start I liked the music, I liked that the pastor wasn’t wearing a suit or a tie, and that he did not preach down at you from a podium. I thought “Wow I can sit in church in comfortable clothes!” and not worry about uncomfortable pews.
I enjoyed the sermons; they seemed very relevant to things that were going on in my life and that I knew needed work. It was clear that my past addictions, my jail time, my struggle with loneliness and need to end the pain had to be faced. I had started to try and better my life, but this wasn’t enough. So, I kept listening to the messages and continued coming back every Sunday. I also heard about the college age small group (Camber) on Thursday nights, so that was the next step for me. I decided to give that a try and I’ve enjoyed those times a lot.
You know this all began to make sense, so a few months ago I asked the Lord into my life and for His forgiveness for my sins. As I write this I still haven’t made any friends, but I have Jesus and my family. I know that God loves me and is with me! At times I am still lonely and empty inside, but that emptiness seems not to hurt as bad knowing that Christ is now in my life. I’m still a figuring this stuff out and continue to grow in my faith everyday. There are days that I struggle with anger and depression but they seem to be much less frequent.
As I look back, the importance of this story for me is about the power of prayer. Through all my hardships in life my mother has continued to pray for me…without me even realizing this. Through it all God was working in my life. He was there all along, especially during the many times I was close to death, I was kept safe. Today, I have things in my life that three years ago I never even thought was a possibility. I have a nice truck and my own apartment, a great job and a wonderful family, and I’ve got a 3.8 GPA my junior year in college! I know I would not have any of these things in my life if it was not for God’s plan for me. I am going to start doing prison ministries so I might be able to help those who are in the same place that I once was.
My mom recently told me about that day last November when everybody was handed a rock as they entered church. They were asked to write the name of someone they would like to see in church on that rock and to pray for that person. With tear filled eyes Mom told me that it was that very next Sunday that I came to Cornerstone for the first time!
As I continue to grow in my faith, each day is filled with more hope! I am much happier now that the Lord is in my life. If anyone takes anything from my story please let it be this: Never stop praying. Don’t give up because everyone needs that second chance. You will never know how someone might turn their life around given the opportunity. Please don’t get hung up about the way people look, like Pastor Linn was talking about a few weeks ago… about that lone zebra from the pack whose going to be the first picked off by the lions… well that could have been me! So if you notice a person sitting by themselves, befriend them...please.